Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Don't fence me in

Ya know, I'm a damned pirate for pete's sake, a cowboy, a rebel, a non-conformist; always have been, always will be. Sometimes to my detriment. Please don't tell me what to do - ask me to help, make a suggestion, or something along those lines if you even want to have a shot at my cooperation.

That was the problem with Bridezilla and the bachelor party - she told us there will be NO (insert hookers, goats, firetrucks, mass quantities of alchohol) the night before the wedding. Thus an argument began, it ended peacefully yesterday with her crying her eyes out over the phone and me offering tidbits of advice from 16 years of a contentious marriage. Don't TELL him what he can't do, wrong approach. She'll learn, it'll probably be too late, but she'll learn.

The same problem is here today in the form of my employment. In less than 2 years I have taken a non-existant territory and turned it into about 12% of the companys revenues and probably a bigger percentage of the bottom line - cause I'm fucking profitable. Because of a lack of sales everywhere else it was decided to bring in a consultant to find a better way. One of these "better ways" is to track accountablitity, c'mon. WTF? Maybe that needs to be done in some areas, but I'm kicking ass down here, so far this year I'm 30% ahead of plan, my plan, a damned ambitious plan. Why do I have to be included in this "paid consultants" better way, mine is just fine, at least according to the numbers that matter.

Hence I feel fenced in, I need to log everything I do now in some online database. Apparently someone is being paid to turn all these little entries into colorful charts to show how we can improve our sales and locate markets we have not penetrated. We have a product with a specific application in a specific area; it can be used in other areas but if we're looking to maximize sales with the talent we have we need to stick to our "core competencies" (a hated term from a former employer, it just fits here). If we head off all scattered to seek these other "opportunities" we leave a lot uncovered that is our base market; we're not a huge company with resources to spare. How 'bout we focus on what we're good at? Novel approach I know.

I could just be pissed that they're "moving my cheese" (damn, I've gone all corporate) and I hate when that happens. It is enough to make me seek other opportunities of my own though, somewhere I can just make money for someone and have them leave me alone in my own little world. I hate having to conform, especially when I don't agree with what's going on, that's just me.

So maybe this was boring for y'all but I feel somewhat better having vented. I hate corporate life and that's what it seems that this little company is headed for - the reasons I came to work here are disappearing a little at a time. I wanna be a cowboy (pirate) baby, it works for me and so far it's worked for them; don't fence me in - I'll just wanna jump it.


Anonymous bellacara said...

you know...if someone is doing a good job and making their numbers....people need to stay out of their way and let them continue

why don't people get that?

10:10 AM  
Blogger April said...

"And I’m headin out west sucker...because I wanna be a
Cowboy baby...With the top let back and the sunshine shinin
Cowboy baby...West coast chillin with the boone's wine...I wanna be a cowboy baby...Ridin at night cause I sleep all day."


Now I gotta get out that cd.

Be a pirate,'s not fair to hold someone back, to hold someone accountable for things they're not doing, or actually, doing and doing well.

10:54 AM  
Blogger Billy said...

bc - cause they're fucking clueless bastards.

april - gee girl, from Nickleback to ZZ to Kid Rock - I like your library. I ought to put on "cocky" cuz it's how I'm feeling 'bout now.

11:00 AM  
Blogger April said...

Yup, I got a good library, sugar. There are few artists out there that I don't like.

7:46 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

(damn, I've gone all corporate)

Come over to the dark side, Billy...we need a pirate...

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you "profit" from your venting? I hope so.

10:36 PM  
Blogger Ms. M said...

Oh, you hit a lot of buzz words in the corporate world Billy. I loathe them too! I've been forced to sit through that film and given the book of the same title "Who moved my cheese," in fact I'm looking at the damn book as I type this.

Lets burn it! You're good at burning things!!!

7:04 AM  
Blogger T said...

The whole reason top sales people are top sales people is because they don't conform... they lead the way. The only time you will see one fail is if you make them do the mundane boring ass shit that they went into sales to avoid. If we were good doing spread sheets we would have taken an insode job... Sorry - I have the same bitch on a regular basis..

1:11 AM  

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