Friday, February 24, 2006

A good goat...

When I burned up the dish towel the other day CP told me none of that would have happened if I had just stuck to hookers, goats and fire trucks; so today's fire prevention technique(?) is one of my favorite jokes.

Farmer Wilson walks over to Farmer Jones' place and says
"Jones, I got me a problem and I gotta to go to court - I need a lawyer, do you know any?" Farmer Jones replies, "yeah, I know a couple of those guys. One is a hell of a trial lawyer, great guy but expensive as hell; the other, not so great, but the guy sure knows how to pick a jury and he's a lot cheaper." Wilson thanks his buddy and moves on thinking to himself, well I don't have a lot of money so I guess I know what I have to do.

Wilson's day in court finally comes and the first witness called to the stand is his neighbor Mrs. Smith. Mrs. Smith is sworn in and the prosecuter asks her, "Mrs. Smith, would you please tell the court what you saw on the day in question. "Why yes I can", she says, "I was doing my dishes, looking out my window over the sink when I saw Farmer Wilson come out from behind his barn and grab one of his goats". Yes mam, and then what did you see? "Well after he grabbed that goat he proceeded to drop his pants and fornicate with that there goat!" Is that all mam? "Well no, after it seemed like he had his way with that goat, the goat turned around and proceeded to lick his pecker clean!"

It was at this point of the testimony that one man on the jury turns to another man on the jury and says "you know, a good goat will do that"..

Have a great Friday everybody!


Blogger Lori said...


9:12 AM  
Blogger Green Eyes said...

Thanks for the Friday morning laugh!

10:05 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

That's one happy goat! ;)

10:42 AM  
Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Very cute joke.

12:30 PM  
Blogger April said...


very funny joke.

especially to a redneck like me!

12:45 PM  
Blogger CP said...

Baaa-aaa-aaaad joke.

Get it? Baaaa-aaa-aaa....

Er, yeah.

Maybe I better stick to firetrucks, hookers and goats and leave the bad jokes up to you. *snort*

I love the happy goat pic. Every pirate should have a happy goat.


8:27 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Do you know where I can get a goat like that?


5:30 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

*LOL* love the happy goat pic!

and Mr. Fab is becoming quite the perv, isn't he?!?!? ;-)

10:59 AM  
Blogger April said...

Read this and thought of you....

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex.

It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours, Clem recalled.

That sounds wonderful, said Jed.

Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us.

Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?


5:36 PM  
Blogger Ms. M said...

Too fuckin' funny Billy! Kinda gross too!

What a happy wonder.

1:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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9:28 PM  
Blogger Fred Azbell said...

There is a bar here in Pattaya, Thailand, where I live, called the "Good Goat Bar".

10:02 AM  

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