FuckYou! Friday

This week has gone by much too quickly. Friday already? Damn.

Softball Slut may have slept her way to an entry level job but if she doesn't show up for work today she'll find herself back sleeping her way back to the front of the unemployment line... C'mon girl, seriously, I got work that needs done. Then body shots.

Ah, FuckYou! Friday. So many people to tell off, so little time.

We'll keep it simple this week.

Yesterday I was up in Brooksville for a meeting, on the way back it was raining like hell. Pouring. Raining cats and dogs and lemurs for Ja's sake. This does not deter the Pirate, this ship sails through anything. 30 to 35, 000 miles a year I drive; through wind, sleet , snow or hail... well, not much snow. Rain doesn't deter me. Wipers on high, bronze lenses in the sunglasses, I can see. Kinda like Cole Trickle from Days of Thunder - just drive through it.

The FuckYou! today goes to the morons who turn on their hazard lights and continue to drive, 10, 15, 20 mph in the fast lane. WTF? Why? If you can't handle the rain, pull the fuck over. What's the point of the hazards? Oh, right... You're announcing yourself as a fucking hazard. If you can't see to drive, pull over dammit, the life you save may well be mine. You can still make your pretty lights flash all you want, just do it in the emergency lane at a full and complete stop.

Yeah, I know it's raining, I can see that. I can also drive in the shit. C'mon people this is Florida. Florida in the summertime, it's not a question of if it will rain, it's just a question of when it will rain. Typically about 4 pm, ususally you can set your watch by it. It rains 300 days a year here, get used to it or get off the fucking road. Don't drive 25 MPH in the fast lane of the highway with your flashers on. The blinking lights just give me a target. Get the hell out of the way, iffin you're skeered pull over and wait it out - it'll be done in 10 minutes. And I wont' have to rant about your stupid ass anymore. If it ever fucking snows here you can bet I'll be parking all my cars in the back yard, hate to imagine how these folks would drive then.

This has been a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood Pirate.

Y'all have a great Friday. and stay the fuck out of my way. I'm getting cannons mounted on the truck.

********************************** EDIT **************************************

I am amending my FUCK YOU! to include the manufacturers of Pop Tarts. I just opened my new box of Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts and the damn things are smaller. By 3/4 of an inch or so. Now that may not seem so bad but I don't like it.

Wasn't that long ago they made them thinner. That pissed me off too. Now they're shorter.
This sucks. I got to find a new mid morning snack.