Friday, October 20, 2006

FuckYou! Friday

It's FuckYou! Friday! so fuck you.

Nah, not you... This weeks candidate for Fucking is Estrogen.

Fuck Estrogen and/or the lack of it.

Softball Slut had a post the other day that her Aunt Flo had come to visit and that she was able to make others do the same simply by standing next to her or something to that effect. I left a comment that I lived in a house with two recent additon to the menstruating crowd and another knee deep in menopause.

I always used to comment that I lived on a small island in the middle of the estrogen ocean, forgot what comedian I stole that from but it's sooo fucking appropriate. Especially now that the daughters are at "that" age. I'm telling ya, life is tough for the lone male in the house, real tough.

Yesterday one of Sweetpea's male friends came over to visit for a spell. Sweetpea and Babygirl and G, the friend, sat in the garage talking about various teenage angst shit. Apparently Sweetpea was telling G that women were unpredictable, not quite liars but that they were able to say something and then for no reason to change what they said, without penalty. Simply because they were women.

I walked in on the end of that conversation and Sweetpea looked to me for confirmation of her statements. In true Brazen Billy daughter style, she says "Dad, tell him, tell him that it's the vagina. It's the vagina that makes us that way, we can't help it." After I regained my breath I confirmed her statement, clarifying it only slightly. The reason is the estrogen I said. Girls are fine till the estrogen production kicks in, then the rules go out the door.

Save yourself I said. Take some advice from an older, more experienced man who has been beaten down by estrogen for the past 30 years. DON'T EVEN TRY to understand them. You can care for them, love them, take them home and keep them but, NEVER, I repeat NEVER try to understand what makes them tick. NEVER try to think you can predict their next move or comment. NEVER think you will have the upper hand, cuz you don't. You never will. Save yourself 30 some years of pure hell. Just concede now and go forth with the knowledge I have imparted upon you; it will save your very soul. Estrogen is the kryptonite of logic, remember that and you may just survive, may survive I reiterated.

And if you think they are difficult now, wait till the estrogen production starts to slip; because you ain't seen nuthin yet my friend. May the force be with you.

Have a great fucking Friday and a better Fucking weekend. I'm headed to Busch Gardens tonight for Hallowscream with my family and my cousins family who's coming over from Lauderdale. Should be a drunken weekend, according to tradition anyway.

Oh, and one more fuck you. Fuck those gated private country club blogs. Snoots.



Blogger Softball Slut said...

I told M, you will never win. Ever. He will never ever win. He can try and kiss my butt always, but he will never win. And I am always right.

2:06 PM  
Blogger MG said...

very good post, very wise...

now. about this fucking me thing?

oh, and I'm so jealous, I LOVE theme parks and I LOVE Halloween... oh and ummm.... getting drunk, so...
FUCK YOU for having a good time without me ;)

C'mon you know I love you, do I need to bring back the birthday post? oh wait, you wouldn't be able to listen god, what's up with me today? must be estrogen.

2:35 PM  
Blogger Still Searching... said...

Ah HAHAHAHAHA!! I think all men should read this, indeed I do. But, I'm one of the mellow ones...more likely to just lock myself in my room and snuggle up w/ my pillow.

You wouldn't be calling ME a snoot, wouldja?? I mean, I may just have to go and pout in the corner. Most of my posts are indeed locked...for self preservation. Best if people in my RL don't EVER read most of it. *sigh* No help for it. I should have stayed anonymous.

7:43 PM  
Blogger Leigh said...

OMG... That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. It sounds that you have been in my house before.

Have a great weekend, sounds like it could be a blast.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

You are like...a wise guru sitting up on top of a mountain, dispensing wisdom.

I dig.

11:05 AM  
Blogger Lori said...

Great post!

Have a great time this weekend.

12:57 AM  
Blogger KB said...

Billy--Estrogen is the root of all evil.

You KNOW that.

BTW---that was some sexy shit you posted on Thursday!

MG--what happened? I can't get into your blog. Have I been banned? :(

11:04 PM  
Anonymous my man joe said...

That's why prostitution should be legal.

A man can get the only good thing a woman has to offer: sex. And forget the rest of the bullshit.

It's not worth even talking to a woman otherwise.

8:27 AM  

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