Friday, June 09, 2006

Pirate VIndicated

In February of this year, the Pirate's real life employer decided to get all corporate on his ass. If you've been reading at all you'd know that Cap'n Billy has a real problem with corporate types and their ilk. Seems they had this new reporting system that all the little sheep were supposed to log onto and fill in the blanks to "be accountable".

One of the first rules of negotiating is be prepared to walk away, no matter what. With that in mind, the wife on my ass about quitting and an attitude I had a meeting with the owner. Told him I'd seen this before, the system wouldn't do what they wanted, it was simply bullshit and that I was not gonna report to a machine. All the info they wanted was in my PC and I could zap them a spreadsheet anytime they asked. Billy was told this was the way things had to be, the reporting was mandatory and I was expected to comply. Oooh, wrong words.

Bearing in mind the Mrs. would make me walk the plank for quitting, I plainly told the man that I wasn't gonna do it; this way he could fire me and I wouldn't be in as much trouble at home - priorities people, priorities. I continued that the info they wanted was available for inspection at any time and in the way I kept it the material could be sorted any number of useful ways for analysis should someone have the desire. Like I did when I had a question, duh.

I wasn't fired, I wasn't even threatened and went about life as normal - not doing what I was told. Today, 3 months later, in a two hour conference call, the "team" was introduced to the new software we are supposed to enter all the data into. Seems there were "problems" with the other system; apparently it wasn't giving them the results they wanted- they couldn't sort the data or complile any worthwhile assessments from the hours upon hours of crap that had been inputted.

At the end of our two hour call, one of the "team" members raised a question, what I thought was a damn good question. Why are we changing, he asked; he has been taking the time to input all the data, on a daily basis, as he was told - why do we need a new system? When he was told the reason I shared above he asked, "Then why the hell did we do all this extra work? I've simply been wasting my time?" Fucking sheep... Lemmings... What comes after lemmings?

I can't bring myself to type the backstepping done after that question; just be assured the Pirate was wearing a big ass smile and trying real hard not to laugh. The pirate, commonly known as a cowboy in the corporate world, knew from the gitgo that the damn thing wasn't gonna work. Rather than take a little advice from me and rethink what they were about to do, they went ahead and had 8 0r 10 people take the time and enter data for over three months. I really hate to think what that cost, payroll wise, opportunity wise and just common sense wise.

I don't think I'll hold my breath waiting for them to come tell me I was right and that maybe they should have listened to me. Nope, I know better. Fucking corporate bullshit. Wait till they try to tell me I can't wear my flowerdy Hawaiian type shirts anymore...

Have a great weekend all, I hear a Corona calling my name.

2 Comments:

Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Right on, brother! I can't wait until I am out of the corporate cesspool and back into the field.

And if your bosses are like mine, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for that acknowledgment that they were wrong...

8:04 PM  
Blogger Leigh said...

I tripped over your blog today! I shall return. Have a great weekend.

10:50 PM  

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