Thursday, July 27, 2006

HEY! it's Fuck You! Friday

Lots of folks were in contention to be the center of the Pirate's fury for this weeks edition of Fuck You! Friday. The competition was fierce, vicious and riotous even. But, there can only be one winner right? Wrong! First rule of Fuck You! Friday - there are no rules... just ask TG she'll back me up. So this week we got 2 or 3 winners of the wrath, depending on how you count it.

The first, and possibly second, Fuck Yous! (again, all in how you count or maybe it's just a group FU) head out to the former employer of my soul brother, Mr. Fabulous and the yet to be named rat fink who sold him out. Yesterday I had talked of Fab's unfortunate dismissal because his blog(?) created a hostile working atmosphere(?). I mean c'mon people, this blog is pure entertainment on a somewhat juvenile level... It's not called "Pointless Drivel" for nothing. While we can all feel sad for Fab, we should start be concerned for ourselves. The Pirate's always been a conspiracy theorist and his freedoms are held dear, hate to think that this could happen to anybody but if it happened to a guy as great as Mr. Fabulous it could happen to us. So on this Friday - A GREAT BIG FUCK YOU! to those responsible for this travesty. In the words of Brother Bob Marley - git up, stand up, stand up for your rights.

Now, in a somewhat lighter vein, a whole lot less preachy and in a great twist of Karma the next winner on this Fuck You! Friday. (Fab may even take heart with this one I'll bet) File under "The road ain't never so long..."

In January of '03, the Pirate was downsized by the worlds largest manufacturer of a certain product. On a Friday afternoon, while preparing to head to Lauderdale for my best bud's fathers funeral I was called and told that I had to be in my office for a meeting on Monday. I politely explained that I was going to be out of town and why. I was told that didn't matter and I had to be in my office at 11 am on Monday. Pisser, I needed to go be with my bud. But, understanding fellow that he is he told me to go to work, that his Dad would say that I needed to take care of my family. Which he would have...

When the corporate types arrived on Monday they wasted no time in telling my pregnant assistant and I that our office was being closed, effective immediately. There was no performance reason for this, simply a cost cutting measure and we'd get some severance pay and all. Clean out your stuff and sign this paper and have a nice life. What would have happened had I gone to the funeral - would they have fucking fired me??!?? In that paper I signed was a clause that I could never work for this company again - I wasn't the greatest corporate drone, just a guy who achieved great sales, apparently that's not enough though.

So, anyways, where I'm going is... The stupid bastards called me yesterday with a job offer... I got a call from a guy I knew there who told me they were looking for someone to do something in Florida and my name was floated, would I be interested? Whoa, you bet, I love you guys! NOT.
Told him I'd have to think about it. Called them back yesterday to tell them ain't no way in hell t I'd ever work for them again. I know how they treat their people, I used to be one. As a matter of fact the CEO of this company was recently quoted as saying "the people don't make the company, the company makes the people". What a schmuck.

So, to these complete fucking idiots, who think that they can fuck you over and then come back like nothing ever happened..... FUCK YOU! just think Fab, maybe you'll get an opportunity for personal satisfaction like that.

Ya know, I'm really starting to enjoy this Fuck You! Friday thing. I feel so much better...

In an unrelated matter, now that I have two trucks in my fleet doesn't that raise me from Captain... to Commodore? just thinkin, maybe I need a new hat...

HNT? dammit.


Seems the female members of the crew don't trust their fearless leader... Y'all are crushing the pirate's spirit here ladies. A captain needs his crew's undivided loyalty you know.

Proof you want, proof you shall get.

See, no money there either.

I now return you to the original HNT post.

Losing my mind, should of taken a pic of it running down the street and away from me, that'd been a cool shot...

Before we get into HNT today, we need to talk for a second about my main man, my blogger buddy, my fellow lemur lover (literally) and all around great guy, Mr. Fabulous. I got an email from CP this morning telling me that Fab was fired from his job for his blog. Now I have seen some offensive blogs in my time here and believe you me, this was not offensive. Fab got serious about this blogging shit and took it upon himself to entertain the world. He was renting his page, competing with other blogs for rankings, having little contests of his own and giving away the stuff he won at fairs. An all around good guy and I mean that.

Aside from touching his nipples a little too often and making whoopee with a few lemurs (who can blame him, those things are cute) his blog was good hearted nonsense. The guy posted his grocery receipt and got 75 comments for Ja's sake; how much more light hearted can you get??? Shows what you can do when you got a lot of time on your hands. Anyways some thin skinned. closed minded IDIOT took offense to his particular brand of satire and complained to his boss. BOOM, he was gone. WTF? I mean really. If y'all haven't ever been there, go over and dig through his archives, there honestly is a lot of entertaining shit there. As far as any references to a love affair with the pirate goes... let's just say what happens at sea, stays at sea. Fab, best of luck to ya man. In your corner, on your side and got your back. If nothing else, I'm standing really close behind you, kinda like that time in St. Barts.

Okay, enough of a rant. HNT, really don't have anything prepared so this is what you get. Billy went out yesterday and bought his crew a truck so he don't have to loan them his anymore or haul crap for them. Expansion, it's a good thing. Cept for what's left in the pockets.... nuthin'.Here's what they got...
coincidence it's Bucs colors??
Hey, football season isn't that far way...

Happy HNT all! If ya wanna play with the cool kids click the blue button on the right and go see Obsasso.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

MIscellaneous Crap

To keep you occupied...

Billy's hittin the road in a couple hours, heading to Lauderdale for the day Monday. Be back late Monday night. To be followed Tuesday by a long day trip to Orlando. Wednesday's booked solid around town and Thursday / Friday I'm stuck in Spring Hill. I ain't gonna be around to play with my friends so I thought I'd just leave y'all some shit to ponder.

Dinner's in a couple hours; serving a seafood fest today, sorry GE. Got some bay scallops, a nice chunk of grouper and a couple little shark steaks; we'll start with chips and salsa, chase that with the scallops, head into the grouper with some yellow rice, peas and fresh bread, chew on a couple shark steak chunks and follow it all with a nice key lime pie. Beer, wine and sweet tea are in the fridge - help yourself. Pools nice too, been thundering all day but the sun's been shining and the water looks inviting.
See that fence in the back... Phase one of Operation Adult Swim. Had been trying to grow some viburnam bushes for the last 5 years in the back yard, failed miserably. So 5 or 600 dollars later I decided to just build a damn fence. Now I have to build the next section between us and the house next door, maybe in a couple weeks or so. Won't be long and nakedness will abound poolside, at least when the kids are gone...

Here's some boobs for Tuesday, cuz I'm gonna miss that too. This just looked like fun, and maybe will just give you an idea of what might happen at the next pool party. We just gotta wait for April to heal up a bit and then the party's on.
Oh yeah, MG, no shots for you... Maybe we'll let you act as the serving platter... lol Although Softball Slut unselfishly offered up her own self as the server last time around, and did a fine job too.

Avast me hardies, time to the captain to get busy with dinner... Have a good week and maybe I'll see all y'all in time for HNT.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Apirl's Home!

Just a word to let everybody know that April is home from the hospital. Still has to take it easy for a while but she's home none the less. Thanks to all who checked in and wished her well.

Y'all have a great weekend.



my place

30 minutes

be there.


Fuck You! Friday

Been waiting all week for this one my peeps.

Y'all know that Billy got his bizness started a couple months ago, besides making it work he also kept his day job. Gotta have that regular paycheck to keep things floating while the new one picks up ya know. Anyway, balancing the two has been a chore.

The new effort has a couple of employees, one is the soon to be ex son-in-law of a "friend" of Billy's. The looming divorce has been fraught with turmoil and chaos and animosity, which one may normally expect. See, the wife of said employee left said employee with the two kids, ages 2 and 1, and booked to Cali with another man. Nasty, nasty phone calls and text messages between the parties escalated into a major custody battle with the in-laws, Billy's old buddy.

The custody battle has turned into baseless allegations of child abuse, drug use and all around bullshit. The in-laws have turned to anything that would possibly hurt the employee of Billy's. Including calling Billy's day job employer, hassling Billy day and night and calling various state agencies to report Billy's biz for any number of different violations from improper licensing to hunting alligators without a permit.

Monday things went straight to hell when Billy's day time boss called asking questions about insurance coverages and such. Apparently they had received an anonymous phone call stating that I was in biz and not properly operating and the requisite state agencies would be contacted. The pirate was puzzled at first then the boss played the message, instantly I knew who it was. BASTARD!

This man I have known, drank with, smoked the ganja with, hung with, traded advice with, etc. for the last 5 years or so was dissing me, not only to my boss but to any agancy with jurisdiction. Why? Wasn't but a couple of months ago, this "friend" had a stroke, at 41 mind you, and when he was down who loaned him a couple thousand dollars to see him through? Yeah, me. And now he's fucking with me? Not only me but my family... If the day job was to go kaput just yet, the new biz wouldn't quite support the family and Billy would be in some serious shit.

I called said friend who denied, catagorically, any wrong doing. Over and over he told me he would never do anything like that, tried to blame it on the son-in-law. That is until I told him I had a copy of the voice mail, a voice mail that was undeniably him. Once confronted with that he slowly admitted to it. Mumbling something about he was just trying to get to see his grandkids. This fucking guy makes a series of calls that could ruin my life and that of my family and tells me he is just trying to see his grandkids???!!!??? FUCKWAD.

The son-in-law has a restraining order against the inlaws from the abuse allegation stunt, that order also includes his place of employment and employer. I have the voice mail on tape, a voice mail that besides pisses me right the fuck off, can also land him in jail. I'm not the kind but ya know what? After taking 4 days to cool off, today I decided to have him popped for violating that order. So, former friend of mine, today being Fuck You! Friday, this FUCK YOU IS FOR YOU. Expect the sheriff's office to come visit today you piece of shit mother fucker. Don't ever mess with the pirate's family you asshole!

Happy Fuck You! Friday to all.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

April Update

A big thanks to all the crew members that sailed over to April's page and wished her well. She, as well as your captain, appreciated your efforts. Extra booty for all ye scoundrels!

I got an email from her friend today who said that April would probably be moved into a regular room today and away from ICU. She's feeling okay and maybe a little spunky cuz she said that while she may be a redneck she's not a mountain girl. Who knew? Does a mountain girl rate lower than redneck on some scale somewhere?

Love ya you sexy redneck bitch you!

HNT - already??

Ahoy mateys, I be hearing rumblings from the crew that it be Thursday already, that little penguin roaming the deck appears to be the pirate's official calendar girl. Thanks, yet again, Erika.

Been a week from hell, actually two or three weeks from Hell all rolled into one. I am definitely ready for FUCK YOU FRIDAY to be here - I been wanting to rant about something all damn week.

But, for today, it's Half Nekkid Thursday. No spectactular pirate images today, hell it's almost 3 pm, guess I'm lucky to get one up at all.
Just a hand and a set of plans... on that fancy schancy table I built back on the 4th. Gotta run.

Check back tomorrow for a fuck you that'll have you sayin' WTF?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006


Hey y'all, it's that time of the week again, Tuesday - FreeBoobyTuesday.

Before we get to the breasteses, we have an announcement. My pal, my buddy, my friend, my backwoods, hick type, mountain girl April from over at Where the Hell am I was in an accident over the weekend. April's been through some shit lately; she took her son and left an abusive relationship, been beat, had a gun to her and just waay too much other stuff for any one person to have to go through. Anyway, someone updated her blog this morning and said that she was in an accident Sunday and may be stepped down from ICU to a regular room today. If y'all would, stop by her place and send her some good juju, some good vibes if you would - she needs it. Thanks.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled boobage.

Again, another week with no commentary, but boobs none the less. And ain't they fine?

Everybody have a great Tuesday and make sure to visit April's page and wish her well; we need her back and I miss her calling me sugar....

Friday, July 14, 2006

Garrrr mateys, it be FUCK YOU Friday.

How bout that huh? Two posts in a row? WTF? Oh yeah, the Pirate got his internet. Verizon finally came through and the Pirate's new port of call now has a DSL connection. For all of those who missed playing with the Pirate during the day.... I'm baaaaack. Tequila and ice cold Coronas for everybody. Body shots all around, well, 'cept for MG. She can only have a big glass.

Now, today is a new day in the Bloggerhood. MG and TG have decided to make Friday "fuck you Friday". So here we go... Live from the Pirate's new lair, it's Fuck You Friday.
For a little humor, go see Green Eyes for the Friday Funnies, always a laugh.

Have a great Friday y'all.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

HNT doubleshot

Hey y'all. No time to chat, but I'm gonna play HNT today - on time - can you believe it???

Here's two for you. One I took 'specially for MG, cuz she gave me a ton of grief last week and the other just for grins. People wanted the pirate and tequila, other people wanted pirate ass. Last week I gave you an old shot, this week a new one.

Have a great day folks, and if you want to play HNT with the cool kids click on the blue button and go see Obsasso.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

FBT - Blogger Edition

I'm trying to maintain a minimun presence so nobody else chews my ass, so I showed up for FBT. No running commentary this week, just a damn fine pic. This comes from a blogger, a blogger who I neglected to check with to see if she wanted to be named or not... damn I need to take some time off.
Anyway, here's FreeBoobyTuesday, and to the donor of the shot - if you want to take credit go for it in the comment section or email me. I'll edit the post and add your link. Thanks again for the picture, I think it's hot.

<>Verizon tells me I should have internet at the new office by sometime Friday. Maybe then I can play with all my friends again.

Friday, July 07, 2006

HNT - Explosive Edition

The Pirate + Jello Shots + Explosives =
Yeah, I know. It's really Friday. So I missed HNT. And apparently I was missed as well. Ya know, if I wasn't such a rough and tough and brazen and bold pirate I'd tell ya I was touched.
Thing is, I just haven't been near an internet connection.

What's really exploding here is the business. I told you guys it was gonna interfere with my blogging and here it comes... I just leased office space and have been getting moved in and building furniture and buying stuff and haven't been able to come out and play with my friends. Here's a pic of the new office. If you can find me there are cold Coronas in the fridge.

The main problem here is that my DSL won't be installed for another week. Not only is it keeping me from my blogger buddys it means when I'm home in the evenings I'm online working. Here's a pic of my new plan table, built it on the 4th of July before I blew myself apart with the fireworks. It still needs to have the finish applied but it looks good anyway, at least I think so.

Now, for HNT, I asked for some creative help and got many fine suggestions. Seems the girls want to see me with shot glasses of Tequila, naked with an expensive watch and someone mentioned the pirate's booty. Well, the current time shortage has prevented me from taking any new pics this week but I dug into the archives and found one of my fine ass. It's not what one might call a glamour shot, it was a slap at corporate America. Some of you who have been around for a while might recognize it as a repeat. To those folks I say, relax, get over it and wait til next week.

I do keep my promises, I may be late but hell - fucking off takes time. Take this for now and I do something for next week to make up for it.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy freeboobytuesday Fourth of July

Damn, what a day. FreeBoobyTuesday, the 4th of July and a shuttle launch all rolled into one.

First off, props to our founding fathers. You know the guys, the ones rolling over in their graves since the way right elected George king. Yeah, those guys. The one's who proposed liberty and justice for all, wait, that was Superman. Wait, I got it; life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, yeah, that's it... Twas, how many? Maybe 230 years back, we declared our independence from a downright oppressive, y'all be damned, over zealous christian nation.... Something sounding familair here?? Oh well, today's not the day to bitch, today's the day to celebrate. I love this fucking country, even if our "ruler" is a douchebag. Hats off to America and the folks that got the ball rolling.

And what better way to celebrate than with BOOBS! Let us not forget, it IS Tuesday... We even got something special for that. Since today's a big day, and the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie is coming out Friday, let's have some PIRATE boobage. No ladies, sorry, not my boobage some female type pirate boobs. Happy FreeBooobyTuesday!
And since I've been drinking to commemorate our nation's birthday, I didn't even edit it - seemed nobody minded last time so what the hell...

And last but not least, we launched a shuttle today. Right around 2:36 pm the Discovery took off into the sky. I've lived here in FLorida for 25 years now and have been around to see most of them going off - it never gets old. I still get goosebumps watching them lift off. All I could see from here is a fireball with smoke behind it but again it just never gets old. So, I'll leave you with a shot of a shuttle lift-off. Have a safe and Happy 4th peoples. I'm outa here, gotta toss back some jello shots and blow some shit up...