Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Poolparty Wednesday

After last weeks post about the pool temperature it seemed that everybody wanted to come over and party, reservations were made in abundance. That's cool with me. Stace/Who was bringing Tostitos and dip, BC was bringing the Patron, Lori was on the way with Absolut and Mel was bringing the Margarita machine. Good times.

Everybody wanted me to save them a chair so here's the seating chart. Feel free, of course, to move around and socialize you don't have to stay where I put you. I have to go to the garage and get more chairs cause you know CP'll show up and Pissy said she may stop by too, damn I love a party.

A sidenote to Mr. Fabulous, the pool has been meticulously maintained and proper PH levels are guaranteed so as not to damage your fine skin or the lemurs fur.

April, your Crown and Coke is on the way, and MG, I need that recipe for those "ritas" you're always talking about. Once the sun is down we'll light the tiki torches, I love watching the flames flicker on the water. We got some food for the grill and munchies too; if you want we can sneak around the shed and find some herbal remedy - just don't tell KB cause she ain't too cool with that shit; although with the last few weeks she's had she just may hit it too.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Tuesday again.

Hey y'all. Yeah, I've been absent, unexcused, and somewhat slow in making my way around to everybody's blogs as well. I do have a good reason though, there's a major announcement coming this way in a week or two and it's been occupying a large amount of my time lately. Even April can't believe that I've actually been working the past few weeks in lieu of trying to avoid work as usual.

But for now it's Tuesday, FreeBoobyTuesday, and hell I can at least post some boobage now can't I? Just like there's always room for Jello, there's always time for boobs, at least in this pirate's world.

Now, CP, I was looking, albeit not all that hard, time constraints considered, to find the boobs that you requested. Mr. Fab hasn't come through with those 8 x 10's yet. I considered doing a little photoshop with a pic from your blog but just couldn't put it together. I will, promise, I will, find that particular set your looking for but till then we gotta keep on keepin' on.

Anywho, time for boobies.

And now that I go to insert the photo, damned Blogger won't upload, WTF? Typically I'd have a diatribe here about providing quality service but as Des said last week, we get what we pay for.
I'll try back in a while, at least I finished the preamble....

Edit.... BOOBIES!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


It's only March 22nd and the pool is already 83 degrees, and ready for occupancy.

Grab your suits, if you're the modest type, otherwise EVERYBODY IN!

Oh, and for those of you say, in Detroit, ha ha ha ha. Okay Laurie, just kidding you can come to, but I'm a little short of airfare, you'll have to ride your bike.

Editors note: the only picture I had available of the pool is from Hurricane season last year, hence the plywood on the windows. It is now fully landscaped and has plenty of chaise lounges for your sunning pleasure. I'll get the blender out while I waiting for y'all to get here.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

It's been a while...

But it's Tuesday!


Yeah, I've been slacking, but, but, okay, I was slacking, what are you gonna do about it?!? Now, settle down, everythings alright. Here are this weeks boobs, and no, I'm not talking about the current administration.

Check 'em out, gawk if you like. Do you know when most men stop staring at a womans boobs? When they get caught. Bad humor, it's early yet...

FreeBoobyTuesday, in da house!

Have I told you guys I love the beach?

Monday, March 20, 2006

Whaddaya mean it's Spring Break?

Last night I told the youngest to go to bed about 5 times after 10 pm. Each time she reminded me that it was spring break and there was no school this week, after a bit it turned into a joke between us.

The joke was lost on me because this morning I had forgotten already and tried to wake her up at 7:30. Apparently that was not funny at all.

The Keys post, finally...

After a couple of weeks even I can get something right... Blogger has decided it is time for me to share the pictures from the Keys, all hail the blogger gods!

Here's the resort from beachside, we were on Grassy Key which is almost halfway through the Keys. For the uninitiated, the Keys are a chain of islands connected by bridges which run southwest off the tip of Florida. Key Largo is the top with Key West being at the end.

It was a 5 and a half hour drive from Tampa to Grassy Key that seemed twice as long cause Mommy and Daddy had a fight about Nickelback tickets, all ended well, but it was a long ass drive. The resort and room were great, we were on the Atlantic side and the view was beautiful. We had a two bedroom room with a full kitchen and a 50" tv, not that I spent any time watching tv although it kept the kids occupied for a while. We had a nice pool, a hot tub and some noisy as hell birds too. I was gonna show you the room and my Pina Colada fixins but Blogger won't allow those to load, damit.

The wedding was cool, beachside, or lagoon side anyway. Water, wildlife, tiki torches and booze who could ask for more. The bridal party had been drinking all day and it was amusing at best to watch the groom snicker and smile during the vows but not as cute as the bride responding "I what?" to the woman performing the ceremony. The brides son gave her away and there were butterflies set free at the end, yeah, whatever... And after that there was more booze, copius amounts even and food and ganja too, that is if you knew where to look (hint - walk out to the dock...) They had plenty of food too, ribs, kabobs, shrimp; they just didn't have anyone lined up to cook it. The best man and I fired the grills and got it all done eventually, and I must say it was pretty good. It was also a casual affair, very relaxing, the party was barefoot my favorite kind.

The groom has a band and they used the bands equipment to pump music all night, he loaded his Ipod with classic rock, reggae and some other appropriate stuff and the beautiful starry night was resplendent with great tunes. At one point I took the wife back down to the beach, we sat and enjoyed the water, the reggae in the background and the bright starry sky. I'm happy to report that things got kinda frisky and as appealing as getting a little on the beach was, there were just too many kids runing around to get busy. We decided to sneak back to the vehicle and break it in, as it were. We snuck past the kids, weaving in and out of foliage so as not to be spotted, made it past the gathering of people and got to the truck. I went to the passenger side, she went to the drivers side and we both waited for the other to let us in... She left the damned keys in her jacket pocket, fuck, we can't get in the car. We both started laughing when we realized what was up and the moment passed, we headed back to the party. More alcohol was the cure...

Sunday was a trip to Key West but first we stopped at IHOP. We needed food, we hadn't had an organized together meal in days. I wanted something besides a sandwich. You'd think that the we and the kids hadn't actually eaten in days with the way we filled that table with food. And it was good, real good. South of Marathon is the 7 mile bridge, aptly named cause it's 7 miles long. Pigeon Key is partway down but it doesn't count, I think it belongs to a college research lab or something. That's the old bridge behind it, the original bridges through the Keys were built for Flagler's railroad, eventually the railroad was replaced by a regular road. Rail at one time was the only way to travel through the Keys, unless of course you count boats. Since I don't have one we won't.

Key West is a cool place, the wife wanted to shop, Sweetpea wanted her palm read and the youngest, well, she wanted a tattoo. Dad, he wanted a drink. Eventually everybody got what they were after. There are chickens running loose everywhere, it's a Key West thing. Some of the newer, monied residents don't find them as quaint as the rest of us and tried to get them run out of town. Some sympaticos set up The Chicken Store to rescue them and raise money to take care of them, a lot of original artwork focusing on the chickens is for sale and while we were there the mrs. got her sneaker humped by a particularly romantic rooster.
She didn't think it was too funny although I have to disagree...

Sweetpea got her palm read, she wouldn't tell me anything that the guy said but she told her mom that she was suprised by what he knew.

I didn't get pics of the youngest getting her tatto, probably good I wasn't there to see it. No, it's not a real tattoo, what am I stupid? It's a henna deal, across her lower back, of course, and it's almost gone already.

We spent the day wandering shops and waited for the sunset. I wanted to see the cat juggler but didn't spy him. There is a sunset celebration every night at Mallory Square with vendors and entertainment acts lined up to seperate your money from you. There used to be a guy who juggled cats, way cool. The closest thing I could find was a guy who had some cats trained to walk a tightrope and jump through rings of fire. There were acrobats, an escape artist and some schmuck known as Stickman who juggled stuff with sticks, skip the stickman. An excellent time was had by all I believe. A fine dinner we ate on the way back, fresh fish and crab cakes, yummy!

All in all we had a pretty good time, never got to ride the bikes or use the fishing pole. We spent time at the beach, wading the tidal pools, drinking, swimmming in the pool and generally lazing about. The wife says we need to go back without the kids - who am I to argue? So there you go, better late than never, Billy's trip to the keys...

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Still trying...

Damn Blogger isn't uploading pics today. I thought maybe I was having trouble cause the pics from the wifes new camera were too big so I emailed some to myself so Windows could resize them and that hasn't worked either.

The upload window starts and then goes blank. WTF??? I really want to share this stuff with y'all but can't seem to be able to do it...

Hope everybody is having a good weekend. I'll come back later and try this again.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Now THAT'S a Tuesday!

Yeah, FreeBoobyTuesday is still MIA, but this was just as good.

NICKLEBACK at the Ice Palace! The show rocked! Okay maybe that's a little lame, it was a rock show, but it was damn good. We had seats in the second row of the second tier just right of center, not bad for buying them a few days before the show; actually they were great. Wonderful view, the band looked a little small but they had one of those big ass TV screens above them and it worked out beautifully.

They opened with Animals from the new CD and then played a lot stuff from the last three CDs and some from a CD called Curb that I didn't know, but liked. I need to go buy that one now. We were jammin and rockin' and singin'. I think the Mrs and I were the liveliest folks in our area which I thought was hard to believe cause we were close to the oldest folks in our section. The crowd was plenty diverse too, youngin's and oldsters.

My favorite song from the new CD is Rock Star; I waited for it all night and then resigned myself to the fact I was probably not gonna hear it. They've got so many good songs to play ya know. Turns out it was the first song of the encore so I was a happy effin camper. All in all it was a really good show.

Only problem I see was that I consumed too much vodka, last night it was Absolute and pineapple, today it's an Absolute headache. The price I pay...

Oh, and with this post I have broken the 100 post mark. I love milestones.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

She's MY kid.

The wife, myself and Sweetpea were standing in the kitchen this morning. Sweetpea's going through the pantry looking for the cherry poptarts I bought Saturday morning and comes across the strawberry mikshake poptarts I bought later in the day. Hey I got a thing for poptarts... Anyway she looks at them and gives me an "Eeewwww, that's disgusting."

She asks "why did you get those?"

Being a smartass I respond "Gee, why did I get you?"

She says "cause you didn't use protection?"

Saturday, March 11, 2006


Okay, so I had written my keys post in Word and then copied and pasted it into blogger. That went fairly well, then when I started adding pics everything went freaky in a major way...

Can anybody tell me what happened???

My fonts changed color and in the blogger edit window my text now looks like a word verify on acid or something. I really wanna share this with you guys I do, really. Today had started off so well too.

Looking for suggestions, if anyone can help. I have a school project for the youngest to work on now but I'll be back to try again.

Here's another pic to tide you over til I get my shit together...

Friday, March 10, 2006

yeah, I know

I haven't posted about the keys yet... I've had company driving me up the wall, work is just pissing me off and I haven't had time to do squat that I wanna do.

And if you can't tell I'm in a pissy mood anyway.

So, here's the deal. Company leaves tomorrow, wife works a 12 hour shift and if I play my cards right I may get to chill for a minute or two. When that happens I promise a post that you guys will bitch is too long to read for your MTV minds.

For now, hows about a peaceful Key West sunset from last weekend. Have a great weekend everybody!

Thursday, March 09, 2006


Unxepected company has kept me from doing what I have planned as far as the Keys trip went and I will get to it soon. My mother and her posse rolled in here yesterday - with little notice - as they have done to family throughout the southeast the past week or so. Have I mentioned she's crazy? She, her sister and brother are on tour visiting everyone they know south of PA - with little to no notice... To say that they are not being warmly received would be an understatement.

They have taken over my office as a bedroom and base of operations and I can't get anything done.

OK, so much for me bitching. HNT is here, this is what you get, my sexy as hell legs. This is a Keys pic though, I'm standing next to the Southernmost Point marker - not that you can tell - just trust me.
Happy HNT Y'all! To join the cool kids click the blue button over there on the right and play Half Nekkid Thursday with us.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Amusing Anecdote Time

If you recall, Sweetpea turned 16 last Monday. I promised to take her to get her driver's license before we went to the Keys cause she thought Friday was the 4th of March. Here in FLA you must have your temporary for a full year before the state will issue you your permanent license.

We got up early and went to the office and got in line. When we reached the window, Sweetpea gave the lady her info and we waited while the woman looked her up in the system. After a few moments the woman stood up and looked at my baby with a sad, sorrowful look and said, "I'm so sorry honey, you have to wait ONE MORE DAY; today is the 3rd, tomorrow is the 4th."

The look of sheer disappointment on her face was not hard to miss, and a few people there who heard what the deal was were feeling sorry for her too. But her dad, while feeling sorry for his baby. was laughing like a hyena on the inside...

Okay, so maybe it's not that amusing, but c'mon, I'll bet you chuckled... I did.

Yeah, she thinks I'm an asshole too.

Just one more day...

Until the "Keys Weekend Review", promise, really, I mean it.

Tuesday was a muther of a day with being back to work and to cap it off we almost plum forgot about Willie. Not sure how you can do that but we did, Tuesday night was Willie Nelson at the Strawberry Festival. Down the road a piece is a quaint little town called Plant City, it's about 1988 there. Used to be 1983 a year or two back but now they've got a Lowe's and a Sonic's so they're moving forward in time.

And if you didn't know, Plant City, Florida is the winter strawberry capital of the world - and they take this pretty seriously around here. Every spring is the annual Strawberry Festival, good times; it's a huge carnival/fair type of thing with a Strawberry Queen and little Strawberry Princesses and Strawberry recipe contests and you get the picture.

One of my favorite parts is the series of concerts they have. These folks work their tail off to get some good acts to come into this town and put on shows for cheap. Only this year have tickets gotten to be more than $10/15 and we've seen some cool folks; mostly country music but hey - It's Plant City.

Last night was Willie Nelson, yup, Willie Nelson and it was fantastic. The man started at about 7:45 and never talked really and played til almost 9:30. No small talk, no "how ya doin' Plant City", just one song after another after another. This man's been writing music since what the 50's? He really never had to stop, he probably could have played for days. Willie's unique voice and way of playing the guitar are just cool. The show was one of the best I've seen out there, and I definitely got my $20 worth of entertainment, no doubt.

Going back Sunday for Trace Adkins (yeah, MG, honkytonkbadonkadonk) and Big & Rich. The Mrs. wants to drool over Trace and, well, Big & Rich is gonna be a party. Before you think you've lost me to country music though let me remind you that next Tuesday is Nickelback at the Ice Palace.

Keys tomorrow I promise! Pirate's Honor.

Monday, March 06, 2006

A Safe Return was had by all

Made it home tonight, a grand time was had in Keys and sometime tomorrow we will start "Keys Weekend Review" complete with pictures, however at this time we will simply present a few Public Service Announcements.

PSA #1
Dedicated to the biatch from Michigan (I hope it wasn't Laurie) in the Cadillac who flipped me (and my whole family) off this afternoon around North Ft. Myers. The left lane is for DRIVING FAST and/or PASSING only, PLEASE do not use the left lane if you are not DRIVING FAST and/or PASSING. Welcome to Florida - now get the fuck out!

PSA #2
Politicians and/or public representatives get no special rights with respect to traffic, I really couldn't give a fuck if you are the VICE PRESIDENT. To stop traffic in two directions on a major highway to allow DICK to travel un-infucking-peded is uncalled for; even those stuck in this mess with us and voted for him agreed. I will allow them right-of-way at traffic lights and stop signs - just like a funeral - and that's it. To think of how much fuel was wasted with 10 miles of traffic idling, waiting to be allowed to move again and how much commerce was stopped in it's tracks simply waiting for the guy to maybe come through in the next 45 minutes...

The drive home could have been better...

Hope everybody had a great weekend.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Oh, what a week

Dammit all! I missed posting FreeBoobyTuesday and didn't get anything done for HNT either, I really, really hate it when working interferes with my blogging! I'll make a point not to let that happen again.

What I am looking forward to now is going outside, cleaning up the motorcycles and loading them on the trailer - tomorrow we leave for the KEYS! We're going down there obstensibly for my cousins wedding, but it's really all about the booze.

There will be drinking and drinking and maybe some drinking; interspersed with a wedding, food and hopefully a Sunday bike run down to Key West. The Grassy Key Beach Resort will be party central from Friday afternoon to sometime on Monday when we reluctantly return home.

I wish everyone a great Friday and a great weekend, I'll have a shot for each and every one of you, aw hell, I'll have a dozen shots for each and every one of you. CP and KB, Imay need a nurse after all that... and I'll bring back pretty pictures of PARADISE for all you suckers stuck in the great white north - that is anywhere north of me.