Wednesday, June 28, 2006

HNT - 1993

Erika told me she was gonna let me slide for being late with FreeBoobyTuesday but that I had better put up one helluva HNT. Well, that ain't gonna happen. I'm running out of ideas for HNT, this fucking work bullshit is wearing me out, physically and mentally and the ideas are not coming like they used to.

So I'm gonna throw it to the Miami Heat just one more time. Hey, I'm excited that they won the championship, let me have my little bit of joy. If any of you read my thing about them last week you'll remember that I said my company installed the basketball equipment at their practice facility. I actually found the pictures from then, that's what you get. So here, from a distance, is this weeks HNT.
This pic was taken from the top of a scaffold by one of my crew, we all took one like this. To give you an idea of how high up we were, here's a shot showing the full height of the scaffold. Yeah I know it's not high for a steelworker but for us...
Alright, I'm done with basketball for awhile, thanks for putting up with it. I was so excited about doing this project I almost offered to do it for free. On our last day there we got to play a little ball with some of the players, memories....

Okay, now here's where you, my faithful friends get to have a little fun. Since I'm too busy to be creative but still wanna play with y'all; I'm gonna let you throw me suggestions for HNT. When you leave your precious comment - you are going to comment aren't you - tell me what you'd like to see next week for my HNT. Help a pirate out here folks, whaddaya wanna see? Now Green Eyes, settle down... MG, behave... and April, I know what you want... a pool party will be coming soon, I promise. MG can attest - I keep my promises.

Have a great Thursday all, and HAPPY HNT!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006


Damn, if it weren't for Erika, our cute little penguin pal, I'd never remember that it was Tuesday.

Busy as hell today, little time to post. Looks like FREEBOOBYTUESDAY will come with no ramblng commentary this week. HEY, I heard that collective sigh... Fine then, off to the boobs.
This may be a shy blogger, I'll never tell though.

Have a great day y'all.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Brazen Billy and the Curse of the Cardboard Cowgirl

Y'all gonna love this one, but first....

Way to fucking go MIAMI HEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First trip ever to the finals and they bring home the trophy. Down 0-2, they came back to win 4 in a row and leave Dallas in the dust. No offense to the Texas bloggers, the Mavs played some good ball - they just couldn't take the Heat. Gotta run out and buy myself one of them '06 Champion hats now.

Okay, now, the cowgirl.

Bout 6 weeks ago I was working with the boys over in Plant City; we had a deadline so I donned my tools and worked for a week. We were frequenting a convenience store there, in it everyday for a week or so. The first time I walked in that door it was over, she had captured my heart. Standing there, in a wifebeater and jeans with a pair of black chaps, holding some rope; I shiver just to think of that first day. The cowgirl, hanging out, advertising for Copenhagen, just looking all kinds of hot - I had to have her.

I grabbed a water and some cookies, yeah, great lunch, and went to the counter. Habib adds it up and asks if I need anything else. I say yeah, how much for the cowgirl. He just looks at me. So I turn to her and point, how much for the cowgirl I ask. Habib smiles and laughs and says she not for sale. Being me, I say of course she is, everythings for sale, how much for the cowgirl? Again he laughs and says she's not for sale. Dammit! Alright. and I leave.

But, like I said, we were there everyday for a week or so. Everyday I'd ask Habib, how much for the cowgirl. Everyday the same answer, she's not for sale. Everyday that is till the last day. I ran in for a bag of ice and took it to the counter with a $10 bill. Habib sees me and smiles waiting for the inevitable question. Say it with me people - "how much for the cowgirl?"

Guess Habib had a bad morning and he started to go off a little bit, that or maybe I was just getting on his nerves. He looks at me and says what will you give me for her, being a skinflint pirate I say I'll give him the $10 for the bag of ice and the cowgirl. With the ice being about $1.40 he stood to make about a little over 8 bucks on the transaction. He took it. HE TOOK IT! She was mine, all MINE, I now had a cowgirl. A damned hot cowgirl. A cowgirl made of cardboard standing on a Copenhagen ad. Folks, meet Charlotte, the cardboard cowgirl.
Okay, story of my life, you got it, now what you gonna do with it? First off, she lived in the garage. She killed, excellent conversation starter. Really. Many asked what the Mrs. thought of her, told them honey said as long as she didn't come home and find me in bed with her she was cool with it. I can be a little quirky, not that y'all had noticed. But... It didn't take long till she started creeping me out. I'd be working outside and cruise into the garage for something and notice a woman standing in the garage. Okay so maybe I'd been smokin a little but when you don't expect her she can startle you. After a whole weekend I'd had enough.

I thought okay, well, let's put her in the work trailer. Maybe the boys wouldn't mind her hanging around. Wrong, they'd go in the trailer to get something and she'd freak them too. It wasn't long before talk turned to making her walk the plank or some other landlubber type demise. I don't think she took it too well.

Last week I had to move the trailer from one job to another. I checked everything out inside first to make sure it was ready to roll, everything was secure. I hitched it up and drove it about 12 miles to the next jobsite, never swerved, never veered, nuthin. When I got it there, parked it and opened it up - the place was trashed. Everything had broken loose, even the shelving screwed to the wall. Tools and screws and cords scattered. On top of the pile, Charlotte. How the hell did that happen?

Now, who knows what drew her ire. Was it the talk of getting rid of her? Don't know. But she must of been pissed about something. Maybe she knew the wife and I had been getting busy the night before and that pissed her off.

Come Friday it was time to turn the work trailer into a toy hauler. I towed it home and emptied out all the equipment, installed wheel chocks and tie downs and loaded the motorcycles for our trip to Cedar Key. Before we left Saturday I checked the tie downs, everything was secure. We made it up to New Port Richey and stopped for something to eat. I decided to check the bikes. Mine had fallen over into the wifes, my throttle handle had dented her gas tank and scraped some paint. Dammit! I untied it, stood it up and retied it. All the while feeling miserable about the dent and such in the wife's bike.

She assured me that all was okay and that it could be fixed, we were still gonna have a good time. That I never expected, but I welcomed. All retied we took off again. Now I'm paranoid about it and stopped about 35 miles later to check them again. Same damn thing. Now there was another dent in her tank, fuck, fuck, fuck. The mrs. still took it well. This time when I retied it I also wrapped a heavy towel around my throttle. If it did fall again it shouldn't hurt so bad, wrong. It fell, the towel was off and now there was a third dent.
Again I retied and we made it to Cedar Key without further incident. We had a great time, a nice room and enjoyed beautiful weather. We ate, drank, ate, drank and enjoyed the water. Here's a view from the balcony.
All went well, we went riding Sunday morning without inncident, had a great ride. Got back to the hotel and loaded up my bike and then started with the wife's. After the damage from the ride I was a little paranoid about loading hers but started up the ramp, fearing I was gonna hit her mirror on the door I stopped. Front tire in the trailer, rear tire on the ramp, no problem, I'll just hit the gas and cruise on in, wrong. I hit the throttle and the back tire spun the ramp out from under the bike and the bike fell with a loud clunk onto the trailer floor with the back tire hanging in the air.

It only took me 5 minutes to drag the damned thing out of the trailer. It's effin heavy. Finally repositioned the ramp and got the bike in. So tell me why did this shit only happen to the wife's bike anyway? Gotta wonder. Oh and they didn't fall on the way home. WTF?

So, the cause of all this has been blamed on the curse of the cardboard cowgirl..Whether it's true or not, that what the pirate believes. So, if anyone is interested, there's a cowgirl available in Tampa. Drop me a line and I'll mail her to you. I take no responsibility for what happens after she gets there though.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


I'm telling ya, Tuesdays are here before I know it. The weeks are seeming to go by faster and faster, I seem to be running out of time more often than I ever used to. But enough of that.

Tuesday's are for boobs and no, I don't mean those yuks tryin to pass themselves off as our public representatives, I mean real boobs. Breasts, tatas, ya know? I was kind of torn this week over which to post, I always favor the beach or water shots but this week I have two I like. Pics, heh heh, you thought I was talking boobies didn't ya?

One an inside, one an outside, this week we get two. Consider it a bonus. We're short on verbage this week, big on boobage.

Here ya go.
Have a great Tuesday everybody. Time permitting, maybe today we'll get to the story of "The Curse of the Cardboard Cowgirl".

Monday, June 19, 2006

Damn, what a game...

I'm gonna talk basketball for a bit but for those who are wondering.... Yeah, I had a great weekend. There'll be stories about the trip to Cedar Key and The Curse of the Cardboard Cowgirl to come this week but first, basketball.

I need to give a shout out to my Miami Heat. Now, it's been a while since I've really paid attention, probably a few years; long enough anyway to say that last week I could only name two current players, Shaq and Zo. There used to be a day when I knew everybody and their stats, but hey, I got a life. I went to the first ever Miami Heat game, opening night 1988 and every opening night for the next 5 or 6 years and averaged about 12 games a year (all I could afford). I was a big time fan, times change.

When we got Pat Riley as a coach the first time around I was estatic, with Pat we had to win a championship, WRONG. But now, Pat is back and my beloved, though largely ignored Miami Heat are in their first NBA Championship match. After an overtime win last night they are up one game and only need one more victory to take the trophy.

So yeah, maybe I am jumping on the bandwagon here a little bit, but, I still have my tuxedo T shirt they gave me opening night nearly 18 years ago - I got this one coming. Side note, in 1992 or 93 my company installed the basketball equipment at the Heat practice facility in Hialeah, Florida. I was so damned excited to do that job I about did it for free. I do have pics of that and maybe I'll put them up this week too, just for old times sake.


Friday, June 16, 2006

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

To quote Nickleback.

"Something's gotta go wrong cause I'm feeling way too damn good."

The pirate's been absent, working his regular job and building his business. Working way too many hours, burning the proverbial candle at both ends and things are going well. Too well. If that's possible.

I have three men working in the field, adding a fourth mid week next week. My stepson is coming down from New Hampshire to work for the summer, his mother doesn't know this yet. She is just gonna freak when she gets home from work on Tuesday and he's sitting here. I love surprises.

I also added a girl to do take-offs and estimating yesterday. She worked for me a few years ago at another company that did basically the same work and I know for a fact that I can count on her to not only do it right but to have a great attitude too. She was probably one the best employees I ever had, a former marine with a mind like a steel trap. She's going to nursing school now but has the summer off and will stay with me till school starts again in the fall.

Thus far, we have been profitable which is key for any business of course, and it looks to continue. Cash flow hasn't been a problem yet but in the past couple of weeks I have been able to secure two lines of credit that should bridge any gaps. I laid out an ungodly amount of money for some accounting software that should help me greatly; it's gonna take me about 2 weeks to get it set up though. More night work...

And I still get my weekend for Father's Day. I was worried that Alberto was gonna trash the place we were going this weekend but I talked to them a night ago and they are cleaned up and good to go. Tonight I pack the bikes in the trailer and the Mrs. and I head up to Cedar Key for some time on the water and some riding time. Also to be included are great food and of course adult beverages - not to mention some quality time reminiscent of why I celebrate Father's Day to begin with. Here's where we're going.

And for the ones who wondered where HNT was, how about this...

Wishing y'all a great weekend.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Neither wind nor rain nor dire predictions of tropical destruction will keep the pirate from puttin up boobs. C'mon people, priorities - remember? In the last 24 hours we've seen about 6 inches of rain and some wind, nothing major, at least here at Casa De Billy anyway. Saw some power outages over GE's way and watching to see what happens up at Cedar Key.

Two things about Cedar key. 1) Two weeks ago Billy made reservations for the Saturday of Father's Day Weekend at the Cedar Key Resort and Marina. Booked a room with a view of the gulf and the pool, planned on taking the bikes and the Mrs. and leaving the kids at home. 2) The damnd storm is supposed to make landfall this morning at where? CEDAR KEY!?!?! What the fuck people? Did anybody know this two weeks ago? Somebody should have told me...

The damned resort is right on the water, the tidal surge predicted for Cedar Key is 8 to 10 feet. I don't like the sound of this, hoping the place is still good for Saturday... please, please, please.

Anyway, on with the boobs. Captain's log, June 13, 2006, with rough seas, heavy winds and blinding rains beating the ship, I awake to find this lassy in me cabin. Who says the storms are a bad thing? Garrrr, gonna be a good day mateys.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Rock me like a Hurricane?

First I would like to say thank you to all who left their condolances for my Uncle Jake. He was a great guy and probably my favorite out of the whole mess of 'em. Again, thank you...

Now, what the hell is this?? Tropical Storm Alberto? As of 11:00 am this morning, we were placed under a hurricane warning, YEEHAW! Seems our newest immigrant may just make hurricane strength here shortly; he was 70 miles per hour at 11 am, all he needs is another 4 mph and it'll be official, our first hurricane of the year.

Got the crew started on a job in New Tampa this morning, not before being soaked entirely to the bone and almost burying the truck in the mud - it's been a great Monday so far! The storm was supposed to make landfall tomorrow morning now it's looking like tomorrow evening; these things change so fast it'll drive you crazy trying to keep up.
No need yet to board the windows or get into fist fights over bottled water and plywood but hey, it's only the first storm of the year.

We're about right on par with last year so far. On June 10th of 2005 my cousin Andy, his now wife Suzie and I braved a Tropical Storm Warning (Arlene) and watched The Black Crowes and Tom Petty in the wind and rain at the Ampitheater, good times. Nice to know that some things can just be counted on.

Still beats the hell out of snow sayeth the Pirate! Unless it blows the house down I don't have to shovel a thing...

Sunday, June 11, 2006

RIP Uncle Jake

I always hated when the phone rang early in the morning... it pretty much has come to mean only one thing to me... I just want to automatically ask, "who died?"

I was really looking forward to sleeping in this morning cause I been working my ass off. The wife kissed me before she left at 5:45 and I spread out over the whole bed, gathering every pillow cause it was my day to sleep.

The pillows didn't muffle the phone ringing at 7:05. It was my Mom and even though I wasn't awake I could hear it in her voice. Hi she says, how are you, sorry to wake you. It's okay Mom I manage, what's wrong. Well, you're Uncle Jim passed away this morning.

My Mom is one of 9 kids, 5 sisters and 3 brothers she has. Big ass family from western PA. This is the first of her siblings to pass. Damn shame too, he was one of my favorites. We lost her dad last August, at the age of 95... currently Grandma is 94, these people have some longevity in their systems. I couldn't tell you how old Jake (Jim) was, somewhere in his 70's, maybe 74 or 75.

Jake took after his Pap, had himself a passle of kids too, I can count 7 off the top of my head, but it's still early. Lost one of his boys to cancer probably 8 or 10 years ago and that's actually what took Jake down. He had just started chemo not too long ago cause the cells showed up in his liver again. Jake was a brick layer, a rancher, a farmer and a loyal member of the Moose Lodge among a lot of other things. He had been here in Fla just this past March, came through on tour with my Mom and Aunt J, really glad now that he was.

I can't find the pictures from a trip to PA a few years ago, pisses me off cause I had a couple good ones of his farm. Maybe I can edit later if I find them. I just really wanted to take a minute and memorialize him in my own Pirate way. Jake was one of the good guys, RIP Uncle Jake, I'll miss ya.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Pirate VIndicated

In February of this year, the Pirate's real life employer decided to get all corporate on his ass. If you've been reading at all you'd know that Cap'n Billy has a real problem with corporate types and their ilk. Seems they had this new reporting system that all the little sheep were supposed to log onto and fill in the blanks to "be accountable".

One of the first rules of negotiating is be prepared to walk away, no matter what. With that in mind, the wife on my ass about quitting and an attitude I had a meeting with the owner. Told him I'd seen this before, the system wouldn't do what they wanted, it was simply bullshit and that I was not gonna report to a machine. All the info they wanted was in my PC and I could zap them a spreadsheet anytime they asked. Billy was told this was the way things had to be, the reporting was mandatory and I was expected to comply. Oooh, wrong words.

Bearing in mind the Mrs. would make me walk the plank for quitting, I plainly told the man that I wasn't gonna do it; this way he could fire me and I wouldn't be in as much trouble at home - priorities people, priorities. I continued that the info they wanted was available for inspection at any time and in the way I kept it the material could be sorted any number of useful ways for analysis should someone have the desire. Like I did when I had a question, duh.

I wasn't fired, I wasn't even threatened and went about life as normal - not doing what I was told. Today, 3 months later, in a two hour conference call, the "team" was introduced to the new software we are supposed to enter all the data into. Seems there were "problems" with the other system; apparently it wasn't giving them the results they wanted- they couldn't sort the data or complile any worthwhile assessments from the hours upon hours of crap that had been inputted.

At the end of our two hour call, one of the "team" members raised a question, what I thought was a damn good question. Why are we changing, he asked; he has been taking the time to input all the data, on a daily basis, as he was told - why do we need a new system? When he was told the reason I shared above he asked, "Then why the hell did we do all this extra work? I've simply been wasting my time?" Fucking sheep... Lemmings... What comes after lemmings?

I can't bring myself to type the backstepping done after that question; just be assured the Pirate was wearing a big ass smile and trying real hard not to laugh. The pirate, commonly known as a cowboy in the corporate world, knew from the gitgo that the damn thing wasn't gonna work. Rather than take a little advice from me and rethink what they were about to do, they went ahead and had 8 0r 10 people take the time and enter data for over three months. I really hate to think what that cost, payroll wise, opportunity wise and just common sense wise.

I don't think I'll hold my breath waiting for them to come tell me I was right and that maybe they should have listened to me. Nope, I know better. Fucking corporate bullshit. Wait till they try to tell me I can't wear my flowerdy Hawaiian type shirts anymore...

Have a great weekend all, I hear a Corona calling my name.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Couple of things real quick

File under - Be careful what you wish for you just may get it.

Here's to you MG, posted as suggested; of course with love, how else would I mean it?

Special note to the male crew members. Hello? ARE THERE any male readers? Fab? You out there buddy? I'd imagine from the female comments on FBT maybe some of the lady readers should listen up too.

Now I don't suppose to assume what music you may like or dislike, or whether or not you like country music; or Rascal Flats in particular. However, if anybody asks you to go to a Rascal Flats concert, GO. The Mrs. wanted to go and I hesitated, I know them (not personally mind you) but their music, familiar anyway, maybe have a liking for one or two songs. I do like Gary Alan who was with them so I said I'd go.

I've been to a lot of concerts before, I've seen a lot of acts that draw a female crowd but I ain't never, NEVER, seen anything like this. Take a tip from the pirate, no matter what particular flavor you prefer, she was there and so was her sister and her cousin and her aunt, her daughter, mother and grandma and you should have been too. Womens, all kinds of womens, lots and lots of womens and they were good looking too. There may have been a restriction on who they let in cause it was just sooo collectively hot.

Long story short, take a chance, see Rascal Flats. As long as your date doesn't slap the dog shit out of you for leering - you'll thank me. Really. I swear.

and April, The Wreckers were there too, saw you posted some of their lyrics. They were good.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


Yet another Tuesday here in the Caribbean and time once more for FREEBOOBYTUESDAY.

The bloggers write - "Ya know Billy, I'd send you pics of my boobs to post but they don't compare to what you normally put up". To respond, I like to think that I post a variety of boobs, a veritable smorgasboard of breasteses, cuz I really like em all, really. And that means I'd like yours too.

Women and men are about alike when it comes to comparing body parts, 'cept it's a little tougher to compare johnsons than it is breasts. Mainly cause breasts, or BOOBIES, pretty much show no matter what you wear. Should your johnson be easily comparable you'll likely end up behind bars; that, in addition to snow is why I don't live in Ohio anymore, long story...

Girls, please realize this, we're boys, we love boobies; big, small, round, flat, pink nips, brown nips, whatever - to us they're beautiful. We may have our own likes and dislikes, we may prefer one type over another, but dammit if we can see boobs for free, we're gonna do it and we're gonna like it. And we're even gonna tell our friends..... "Hey George, you're never gonna believe this, I was over at the 7-11 and there was this chick who had this pink halter top on and her boob was hanging out!" George isn't gonna ask what it looked like, he's gonna say COOL! And then we're gonna go on and tell everybody else we see... Hell I even tell the wife, "honey guess what?"

So relax, Brazen Billy's FBT is not a competition, it's more of a Booby Trade Show. Where you can show them, get some feedback, share your treasures with the world and move on. I will personally delete any comments that I feel are out of bounds (although I don't believe in censorship) just to protect your delicate feelings. Bring em on ladies, be proud.

Now, on to the boobage...
Yeah, typically I edit out anything below the belt but no time today. If you're offended, too bad. Mmmmm, I'll have an order of medium please, lightly toasted.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Ain't quite dead yet...

So yeah, I know, I've been missing. FreeBoobyTuesday didn't get posted and I skipped HNT also, sue me. Big thanks to CP for trying to cover my ass on Tuesday, if you didn't see, she posted a link to some fine boobage in a comment on the last HNT post.

Long story short, Billy recognized an opportunity for a business tied to his current job and went for it. Now the damn stupid pirate has two jobs, well a job and a business; with all that entails. Including employess who like to get paid, fuckers. Another reason that I love my pirate crew that works for booty alone. Needless to say though I have been busier than a pickpocket in tourist season and not posting or visiting as I used to.

Don't rightly know how long the current pirate drought will last folks, I try to visit everyone when I have the chance but don't get around like I used to. It doesn't mean I don't love you anymore (april) I do, I really do. Just real busy trying to keep my head above water.

I'll be around, and I'll try to post. I'm quite attached to my blogger friends and I do miss you guys, really. But for now this will have to do.

And for what it's worth, the biz is paying off bigtime. So long as nobody skips on an invoice.